The Best Tailor in India

If you love irony and sarcasm, you've landed at the right place. Read on!

Once upon a time, I went to a tailor and gave him my trousers for doing minor alteration. Being a short guy, I always have to cut the length of whatever new pants I buy to fit myself in. Most tailors do it within 10 minutes for which I hesitantly make myself poorer by 20 to 30 rupees. This protagonist tailor took more than 10 hours. A perfect example of magical time management and terrible promise keeping.

So, once upon a time I gave my trousers to this tailor in the morning which he told me to collect in the evening. Feeling a little elated at the thought that I would be getting pants that fits me, I went back to the shop to collect it in the evening. Bhaamm!!!! it was not altered yet which makes me realize tailors are not clocked like software engineers. I mean commitments are not so crucial to tailors as they are to engineers.

He offered me heavenly choices either to come back in the morning or wait for some time. I made the wrong pick of waiting; doubting it won't be done even in the morning and more because I am lazy by nature to budge in the morning. As I wait on, this tailor continued sewing other clothes without attending to what I was waiting for. After some uneasy waiting, I politely requested him to finish my work first. 'Yes, Yes' he did told me in Hindi and continued doing what he was doing.

When my patience was drained, I demanded he give me back the trousers so that I can go home and hand stitch myself. He sweetly asked me to wait for some more (more) time. Then, power went off throwing everything into darkness. I wait on in pitch darkness (I now assume he didn't even have candles) listening to the buzzing and sucking sound of the mosquitoes while the tailor went out to empty his bladder as if it was a God send interval for him to relief by the roadside that has suddenly become dark.

Power came back after some time which, to me did seemed like eternity. This was when the old tailor gave me a glance and pulled out my trousers from the pile of orders and started doing what he should have done long long time ago. Maybe, he saw the high probability of my temper floodgate bursting open when he looked at me. I consoled myself and was finally feeling victorious when he started measuring and cutting them to the right length.

Life sucks, well, sometimes: a man walked in with a pile of cloths before the tailor finishes what he was doing. And to my disgusting horror, the old fellow started taking measurement of the newcomer without completing what he should have completed long long time ago. Walking away with the pants at that point was not an option as they were by then scissored. The only options were to wait or to wait.

After the measurements were taken, another customer walked in who wants his jeans altered. The old man told the new customer it would be done by morning. All my conversation with the tailor till then was in my favorite corrupted Hindi because I've presumed that he won't know English. Intending to take a little revenge, I told the new customer in English, to go elsewhere as this fellow won't get it done even in the evening of the following day.

The old man glanced at me and said, 'it will be done by morning' in English. To which I replied 'you haven't completed mine which you promised will be done by evening.' There he elected silence as his best weapon and asked me where I am from to change the subject. Not wanting to go into the usual, 'where is Manipur, Is it near Nepal, Is it in China, etc. questions, I told him I am from Sihai Khullen (my village name). It did cut short the conversation and that was when he completed the alteration which didn't take him even 10 minutes.

I hopped out of the shop after making the necessary payment wondering why the tailor made me wait for so long. Maybe the best tailors in the world do that to prove their importance. With the power and authority vested on me, I hereby pronounce this tailor as best tailor in India.