The Best Tailor in India

If you love irony and sarcasm, you've landed at the right place. Read on!

Once upon a time, I went to a tailor and gave him my trousers for doing minor alteration. Being a short guy, I always have to cut the length of whatever new pants I buy to fit myself in. Most tailors do it within 10 minutes for which I hesitantly make myself poorer by 20 to 30 rupees. This protagonist tailor took more than 10 hours. A perfect example of magical time management and terrible promise keeping.

So, once upon a time I gave my trousers to this tailor in the morning which he told me to collect in the evening. Feeling a little elated at the thought that I would be getting pants that fits me, I went back to the shop to collect it in the evening. Bhaamm!!!! it was not altered yet which makes me realize tailors are not clocked like software engineers. I mean commitments are not so crucial to tailors as they are to engineers.

He offered me heavenly choices either to come back in the morning or wait for some time. I made the wrong pick of waiting; doubting it won't be done even in the morning and more because I am lazy by nature to budge in the morning. As I wait on, this tailor continued sewing other clothes without attending to what I was waiting for. After some uneasy waiting, I politely requested him to finish my work first. 'Yes, Yes' he did told me in Hindi and continued doing what he was doing.

When my patience was drained, I demanded he give me back the trousers so that I can go home and hand stitch myself. He sweetly asked me to wait for some more (more) time. Then, power went off throwing everything into darkness. I wait on in pitch darkness (I now assume he didn't even have candles) listening to the buzzing and sucking sound of the mosquitoes while the tailor went out to empty his bladder as if it was a God send interval for him to relief by the roadside that has suddenly become dark.

Power came back after some time which, to me did seemed like eternity. This was when the old tailor gave me a glance and pulled out my trousers from the pile of orders and started doing what he should have done long long time ago. Maybe, he saw the high probability of my temper floodgate bursting open when he looked at me. I consoled myself and was finally feeling victorious when he started measuring and cutting them to the right length.

Life sucks, well, sometimes: a man walked in with a pile of cloths before the tailor finishes what he was doing. And to my disgusting horror, the old fellow started taking measurement of the newcomer without completing what he should have completed long long time ago. Walking away with the pants at that point was not an option as they were by then scissored. The only options were to wait or to wait.

After the measurements were taken, another customer walked in who wants his jeans altered. The old man told the new customer it would be done by morning. All my conversation with the tailor till then was in my favorite corrupted Hindi because I've presumed that he won't know English. Intending to take a little revenge, I told the new customer in English, to go elsewhere as this fellow won't get it done even in the evening of the following day.

The old man glanced at me and said, 'it will be done by morning' in English. To which I replied 'you haven't completed mine which you promised will be done by evening.' There he elected silence as his best weapon and asked me where I am from to change the subject. Not wanting to go into the usual, 'where is Manipur, Is it near Nepal, Is it in China, etc. questions, I told him I am from Sihai Khullen (my village name). It did cut short the conversation and that was when he completed the alteration which didn't take him even 10 minutes.

I hopped out of the shop after making the necessary payment wondering why the tailor made me wait for so long. Maybe the best tailors in the world do that to prove their importance. With the power and authority vested on me, I hereby pronounce this tailor as best tailor in India.

Who Do I Look Like

My heart used to breath fire whenever someone called me 'chinky' 'Nepali' 'China wala' Japanese, etc. Lately, I've learned the art of swallowing without having to chew those wrong comments. Back home, some of my friends still call me 'blackie' because I was and I still become black when exposed to too much of kitchen smoke. People from my place would roar with laughter if they know that I am called 'China-wala' or 'Japanese' in this part of India.

Recently, a young boy in a supermarket elbowed his grandfather on the knee and whispered "dadaji dekho, China-wala," sheepishly pointing his finger at me. If he were a bit older I would have made a face that will urge him to concentrate more on his geography lessons. But, that was a young child who probably not have started learning geography. Then, what does he know about China? Well, as for the boy I just gave him a schweet smile and walked on letting his childhood innocence to decide whatever it wants to call me.

The real shocker however is when even educated grown ups mistake me for some foreigners. Geography lessons that I learned in high school blurted a lot about India being multi-ethnic and multi-cultural. I learned about the various groups of people living in India. I was made to believe India is called a sub-continent because of the unique geographical regions it has and the various types of people to whom it serve as home. Are students in mainland India taught a different kind of geography? If not, why am I mistaken for a foreigner in a country I dearly consider as my own?

OK, I won't deny that people from the Northeast look different. For the difference in physical features, people from the region most often are subjected to unwanted racial labeling and discrimination. The most recent being the crack down by Delhi Police on Northeast people in the name of thwarting Tibetans protesting the visit of Chinese Premier Hu Jintao. Yes, Tibetans and Northeast people may have similar features, but was it the right approach to curb a democratic protest by detaining and harassing the wrong people? Many Northeast people working in NCR region were reportedly harassed and some even detained. To add more salt to the wound, people from the region were even asked to produce their passports as identity proof in their own country. And yeah...why were Tibetans not allowed to protest the visit of Hu Jintao, when it openly acknowledges that Tibet is being illegally occupied by China? Strange are the ways of politics!

Violence against the people of Northeast region again is no myth. Someone or the other get beaten up once in a while as if it is a special treat for being a North easterner. These unwanted things happen mainly in the National Capital Region where we are supposed to feel most secure. Molestation and rape of northeast girls is not a made up story either. Where can we buy the feeling of belonging if we are being forcefully made to feel we are different?

I still remember police in the NCR region coming up with a list of dos and don't for Northeast people so there is no trouble for them. The silliest among them are not to venture out when it is late, not to wear objectionable dresses and most of all not to cook smelly food that may irritate the neighbors. How funny are these protocols? Special chinky rules right? Whose country really is India? Are people from the Northeast political refugees? These are some politically incorrect questions we are forced to ask ourselves to which we have no ready answers. Sorry, for being so straight, but, seriously there is no room for politeness in such painful situations.

Fortunately for me, South India have treated me well, except for the occasional mis-identifications. Well, that still amounts to rejecting me as an Indian right? This ranting about the injustice and the complaining and murmuring within can go on. This also mean the insult will not stop here. It is not easy to change people's mentality so easily and we are talking about a nation. Are the various insurgent groups in the Northeast region fighting for secession from India doing the right thing considering we are treated as sub-standard citizens? Maybe or maybe not. That is so political and I don't have politics in my gene sorry, no comments!

I would be happy if people just identify me as a Naga if they don't want me to be their fellow Indian. Oh, what a wild dream! If people don't know the Northeast state names, how on earth will they know the various tribes that inhabit the isolated seven Northeast states? I just belong to one of the many tribes.

I am not a Nepali, a Japanese, or a Chinese to the best of my knowledge, and I am not an Indian according to you. Then, who do I really look like?