Is Laziness a Sickness? Seriously!

If you are lazy, read this and if you are not lazy, you still gotta read this!

This simply kicks me back to childhood. When I am cozily curled inside the blanket trying my best to forget about morning, SPLASH!!! came the cup of cold water on the face from mom’s hand. SHIT!!! seems it’s time to drag myself to school to doze off and on and get punished. In some ways cold water on the face is better than merciless strokes of cane on the palm. Twisting of the ears is unbearable though.

Well, back to laziness. Laziness is funnily addictive just like yawning. Don’t tell me you are not tempted to yawn if you see someone yawning. Who would not want to just sit, listen to some good music, maybe sip some beer, sleep and do nothing else, but get every need provided? Man, I would love to. But, will that be Utopia or Dystopia? Not sure! Even in Heaven (If there really is one) we got to sing praises and go here and there maybe; I mean not just sit.

HECK!!! Life has become so complicated. Think of the early man whose main works were to hunt, cook, eat and sleep. He knows not of washing, cooking, cleaning, working in organized way like we do, bathing and 100 etc. NO!!! even early man must have felt lazy sometimes to go out for hunting, but I am darn sure he too loved sleeping like we do. I need to get into fossils study to ascertain this fact.

If you are lazy, I won’t blame you. Yes, it is a sickness of being alive. Even dogs feel lazy why should we not be? The world has special occasions for everything; there is a serious need for a day or two to be occasioned as “LAZINESS DAY” once in a year. People should do nothing but sleep and eat.

I know there is no permanent cure for laziness. I think it is OK to be lazy if only that sickness you carry does not tax on any other human beings. Example: If my laziness as a kid had worried mom by me flunking in examinations that would have made her world go wrong. (I did flunk anyway).

To put it in a layman language, let us not precariously assume what you don’t want to do is fun doing for another human being. If you think it must be fun, do it yourself and if you still don’t find it fun, please don’t blame me. I told you nothing is fun doing. Paying others to do what you don’t want to do isn’t fair either. But, lets talk about that other time.

We all do what we do for the heck of living and laziness is part of that life. Be lazy, but let us also do something to make that sickness a little docile from time to time. It is a parasite that knows only of singing lullabies.

The Village Tricksters: The Trickiness of Faith

One was a joker and a prankster and the other one a simpleton, they sort of get along so well. They'd worked together for months and stays together in a makeshift camp beside a river where they were overseeing a bridge construction work. The joker played pranks on the other guy so often, but never on serious matters. They had no hard feelings against each other as the simpleton after sometime took the pranks of the other for granted.

The simpleton has stomach ailment that doctors failed to diagnose. After staying together for months, the prankster came to know the exact nature of the ailment, the timing, the places where it hurts most and how long the pain lasts. This was when the prankster decided to go a step further and make a big joke out of the other's sickness.

One evening, when they were having their dinner, the prankster told his friend that there is a very famous witch doctor in his village which is about 3 kilometers from where they were camping. To make the rubbish more believable, the prankster added that the witch doctor has healed people from many villages and mocked him for his ignorance about such a famous person. Moreover, the prankster also added the witch doctor sure would heal his sickness.

The following morning, the sick friend asked the prankster details about the witch doctor; name, location of his house in the village, etc. and told him he want to consult the witch doctor. The prankster gave the poor guy, name of another notorious prankster in his village and also told him the exact location of his house.

When the prankster knew that the simpleton indeed was going to seek for the witch doctor, he told him that he has some business in the neighboring village and left in a hurry. Instead of going to the neighboring village, the prankster headed for his village through a roundabout forest route so as really impress his friend that he is headed for the village in the opposite direction.

On reaching his village, the prankster straightaway went to his trickster friend and told him about the person who would be coming to him in the afternoon. He told everything about the nature of the simpleton's sickness. They sat down together planning detail of the healing drama they have to play on the poor guy. The prankster left soon and went back to the camp well before his sick friend started for the healing journey.

When the sick person came to the village, he asked some of the villagers where the village witch doctor lives. To his surprise, all of whom he inquire gave him a puzzled look. This was when he started doubting the existence of this famous witch doctor. Nevertheless, based on the direction given by his prankster friend, he was able to find the house without making further inquiries.

When the sick person came to the doorstep of the trickster, the trickster mumbled his name and asked him to come in. The trickster further told him that he had a vision of him coming with a certain illness. The sick person on hearing his name mumbled and on hearing the crap about the fake vision became so convinced that the person in front of him was indeed a great witch doctor.

The fake witch doctor started the fake healing process by touching the body parts of the person which are supposed to hurt most as already told to him by his friend. Faith of the sick person in the fake doctor by now reached the zenith. Finally, the witch doctor told the sick person that there is only one way to cure him and further told him that it is (the way) going to be very strange and difficult. The sick person being so eager to get cured assured the witch doctor that he is ready to do anything.

This was when the fake witch doctor asked the sick person to take off his clothes. The witch doctor then smeared the whole body of the sick person with charcoal and ash paste from the hearth. The witch doctor then took a long jute rope tied an empty tin fish container, an empty bottle, wooden tong, old spoon to the end and told the sick person to walk to his village pulling along the rope. The distance between the two villages is about 30 kilometers. The condition as told to the sick person was not to talk to anyone on the way until he enters his house.

The sick person without questioning started the long march at mid-day. Many people talked to the sick person on the way and wondered what was wrong when he just walked on without even looking at them. Many people concluded that he had gone mad. When he was nearing his village more people met him and talked to him in inquisitive manner, but got no response, which made them think that something has gone wrong with him. As was his bad luck, his brother in-law met him before he reached home and started talking to him annoyingly when he just kept mum.

The brother in-law followed him all the way. He finally reached home without uttering even a single word. His brother in-law by then lost his cool and started shouting at him at the top of his voice. This was when he told him about the witch doctor and the remedy he suggested. His brother was more shocked and annoyed when he mentioned that there is a witch doctor in the neighboring village. When asked about the name of the witch doctor, the sick person joyously told the name of the fake witch doctor. This was when the brother in-law came to know that a very dirty joke has been played on him by well known tricksters from the neighboring village.

The family of the sick person decided to file a law suit on the tricksters in the village court and to confront them personally. The elders in the family decided to go to the neighboring village early morning of the following day to talk to the tricksters.

In the morning before the elders started the journey, the sick person informed them that he has been cured of his sickness. Everyone was dumbfounded. It was a happy ending for the sick person in spite of the supposed humiliation and embarrassment he had gone through because of the tricksters, his sickness just left him. The story became one of the famous jokes for the two villages and the tricksters became more famous in the neighboring villages. Faith indeed is a mysterious healer!

This is a true story. The people in this story being still alive, I've withheld their names.

Unusual Fight of Two Hot Tempered Kids

Two equally hot tempered kids were playing in the woods. One accidentally punched the other one on the face. The other one got mad and gave the other fellow a tit for tat punch back. This turned into an exchange of many more hot blows of punches and kicks. A wild fight got triggered.

Both these kids become exhausted and sat down, but the fight continued with each of them holding a stick and hitting each other. The sticks broke only to get replaced with stronger ones. Blood started ozzing out from their noses. At this stage, both of them were too tired even to lift the sticks in their hands. As the fight was a do or die game. They had to go on fighting.
To keep the fight going, these kids lied down and started biting each other as they were now too tired to lift their hands and legs. When finally they were too exhausted even to bite, the kids crawled their ways home without knowing who the loser or winner is. Their shirts and pants were torn and their bodies covered with bite marks and blood.
The mother of one of the kids seeing the condition of her son went straight to the parents of the other kid to complain. The adults started searching for the other kid as the parents haven't seen him coming home. They heard a groan from behind the door and on pushing back the door, found a badly wounded child. As this child was in an equally bloody condition as the other one, everything got settled there. Parents of either kids have no sane reasons to complain each other in the end. The kids grew up to become best of friends with their hot blooded tempers reserved to be used only on others. One became a police officer and a teacher after leaving the police force. The other kid died shortly after getting married.
This story was told to me by the octogenarian village school headmaster, who was one of the kids. Maybe he wanted to tell me because I am related to the other fighter, who was the younger brother of grandpa. He married but never had a child to carry forward the hot blood N temper.

Love and Life

The day will dawn, not soon though

When streaks of grey'll adorn my head.

Baldy and toothless times are ahead

Flesh and veins will sag and hang

To preach the young 'bout the pain of aging

But, thy undying love'll make me walk

Make me wake to love you more

Until the final alarum sounds for us

To say goodbye to this love and life.

Fastest Engineless Bike on Earth Called thing gari.

This bike runs on kinetic energy. Speed depends on the size of the wheels and the type and quantity of lubricant used. Ninety nine percent of the body part is wood with only one percent comprising of iron nails to hold the body parts together. This bike is specially designed and built only for use in the most mountainous and most remote regions on earth.

There is no record about the person who designed or invented it. The bike is called "thing gari" or "wooden motorcycle." Another surprising aspect about manufacturing of these bikes is that they are made by children of 8 to 13 years. Again, there is no architectural myth that older boys always make better bikes.

The Manufacturing

As expected, making of the bike has it tedious production cycle. First the kids have to scout the vast forest scouting for the most rounded rhododendron tree trunk (kokluithing) that meets the tyre size of their dream, fell the tree and carry home the heavy trunk. By the way, this is not child labor as there is no insistence from adults that they have to build these bikes. Adults hate the bikes and some even go to the extent of axing and destroying them.

As the bikes are mainly for dirt biking, they make dusty village roads even dustier. This is the obvious reason why grownups are concern more about the roads than the fun of the children doing dirt biking.

Nevertheless, nothing can deter these determined kids. After bringing home the tree trunks, they'll hide it in places where the eyes of the adults would be least interested to investigate. These kids would sneak out from home with the sharpest knives and start cutting out the wheels and make holes in the middle. The job is half done there.

The next task is to build the body part on the wheels, which is comparatively easier than cutting out the wheels. The body part is usually trunks of young flexible plants to give that springy feel while riding or racing. Everything gets nailed together in the end.

Racing Time

It's time for racing finally and this is when the kids steal pork lards from home to use as lubricant on the wheels. Those who are not so lucky to have pork lard at home have to chew a rather yucky and slippery herb as an alternative.

Every village has steep hill slopes, and these are the favorite places for racing. The race starts from top and ends at the foothill. The bikes have to be carried uphill which usually is done by the assistant of the bike owners. All the racers will be covered with dust and look more like hard working moles emerging out of the soil after digging like crazy.

The Fare

The normal and minimum fare for a ride downhill is one iron nail or a piece of pork lard. This arrangement is ideal for those kids who don't own bikes for reasons both known and unknown. These bikes are never kept at home for the fear of invoking anger in the family and destruction. There are special common garages in the bushes which the bikers know is safe from the reach of adults.

Author's note: Wooden motor cycles were part of my childhood. Childhood was so much fun with all the dirt, scolding, spanking and chasing we get from grownups for dirt biking. Time has changed though, one hardly see these wooden motorcycles even in the remotest villages in Ukhrul district, Manipur, where I was born and brought up..