The Joy and the tale of Learning

Those were darn, dear and sweet days where I'd to do nothing more than study, attend lectures, eat and sleep and of course drink too. Pursuing Masters in English Literature compelled me to read and read, sit like a stone in the University Library; play with the computer though I have very ignorable knowledge about the miracle box those days. HTML codes, PHP, CSS, and scores of other coding and documentation tools would have sounded like rocket science to me if at all someone mentioned them to me back then. Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, etc, etc, who were so unfortunate not to glare at the computer and to be alive today occupied my days and filled my term papers. Never did I think a giant leap and a totally different world awaited me to suck me deep inside its process. Here I am working as a Senior Technical Writer, far away from home and exiled from literature. A world totally different; making me confused whether I am here for good or for worst but not in the least scared. This is a metamorphosed life indeed.

After completing my Masters, the dictation of life blew me to Hyderabad, a city that I’ve fallen madly in love lately. This is where I started my tryst with the corporate world and also smelled the lovely scent of corporate money. I found the bestest of my friends as time flies by; who often times make me forget that time is juggling us all along.

I often think my first employer did a terrible mistake in hiring me for my computer knowledge was pathetic. Initially hopping around in search of job became frustrating when I got rejected righteously for my low typing speed. I remember cursing for not having learned computer in the way people consider is proper. Nevertheless, I got an offer and this was the first place where I slowly have to start shedding the skin of English Literature. Subjects like Project Management, Risks Management, Disaster Management and other Management topics start to seep into my semi-awake conscience. Well, I punched the keyboard slightly harder than Ringo drums. A happy ending, no keyboards get spoiled by the time I learned to hit the keys more gently.

It was in my second job where I started learning about editing, authoring, and conversion tools. RoboHelp, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and whole lot of Adobe family became my relatives at work. Release notes, User Manuals, Presentations, Brochures, became the wick and oil for me to move forward. VoiP was everywhere on the wall. I love the place and the technology for letting me stuff into my head so much in a short time. Colleagues were professional but warm and welcoming with no secret reservations and grudges. There won’t be much of this kind of ideal work environment to freak around, poke and joke; yet learn a lot.

Wow, the next assignment within the same organization was something of a detachment from what I usually do. It was a chance for me to bid adieu to writing about software updates and related documentations, I squeezed into the world of gaming; iPhone gaming. This was where I blogged, writing about games and everything that has to do with Steve Jobs and Apple. I was gifted an iPhone to kill my days and play my nights. Blogging, writing out game description for whatever my company developed, beta testing games and applications became my daily bread. Great as it sounds, I grew extremely fond of crashing in late and crawling home in the dark.

After deciding to take a break, I made a very risky decision to experience the life of doing and thinking nothing. This was when I left the city I’ve fallen in love and the work that I thought would lead me to superannuation. Eight long months, I eat and stayed idle, surprisingly gaining no extra calories, which I very much desired. Idleness has its own addiction, but I failed to see why I scorn it in many ways than I like. Good that I have someone who loved me despite my precarious mindset. After so much thinking and pondering, I headed back to start and new beginning in the city I'd toiled and smiled for three years.

Coming back, I landed in different organization and into a totally new process area. Core Banking Solution is what I am dealing with as a Senior Technical Writer for now. Life is going on smooth and running fast. I kind of think (often) I've learned a lot oblivious of the fact that I need to learn more and more just even see the kernel of learning. For me, the pleasure of life lies in the willingness to learn whatever life throws on me. It is not what I know that matters, all that matters is what I can learn....

Root canal; the pain, blood, sweat and the cursing.

“Give me more pain killer,” was all I begged when the dentist started poking and drilling my tooth with torturous broach files of various size. Blood and tears got mingled in my throat. The only relief I found on that sacrificial chair were the short moments when I am required to wash and rinse my blood filled mouth. That was how modern dental technology waterboarded me for being careless about my teeth, which I often used to pop open beer and soft drink caps. Damn me, pulp tissues inside my tooth got stoned and rotten because of a small crack that cracked away years ago from my central incisor. I must have looked like a toothless mouse to my friends and the dentist with all the outer layer drilled away from that rotten tooth. To add more insult to my trampled spirit, I am now advised not to bite even apples with that capped shiny tooth.

Thank God, I now have a capped tooth that look much shinier than my other stained teeth to remind me of the pain, tears, blood and cursing session I went through. Darn that dentist, the canine tooth seems to have got infected for being over-drilled to fit in the duplicate one. I have not slept well for more than three days with excruciating pain visiting me every night. I am bribing my brain to ignore the pain by feeding painkiller. I really have to see a dentist again as I still have the desire to live. If only dentists know that the treatment is unbearably painful, they had be more generous in stuffing their patients with stronger painkillers. Root canal-ing is no joke. Jaws become heavier, the head becomes bigger, eyes start seeing the naked beauty of hell. All through the sessions, I at least have my fiancé by my side who really knew I was swimming in a flaming ocean.

The couple of rum pegs I sipped every-time before visiting the dentist didn’t help a pinch in reducing the strangest pain of root canalling. It took three sessions to completely remove the infected pulp tissues. I rose from death three times, a record that beats even the miracle of Lazarus.

Apart from learning about pain, tears and blood, I also came to know how a simple smile could make mountain of a difference. In all the sessions, I didn’t see the dentist smile even once. Maybe he was trying to make himself look super professional. Maybe, he smiled behind the mask which doesn’t have the energy to reach the eyes or the face. Long after the whole operation was over, I ponder on all that have past and fancied that a simple smile on the face of that dentist could possibly have reduced my pain a little bit if not halved. I now believe that life is just a lifeless statue without smiles and laughter all around. If I were a politician, my manifesto would be something like “let us all smile like we are crazy and laugh like we are stoned.”

Well, no more root canals for eternity sake and I would have no reason to smile or laugh on the mention of that strange word, ‘root canal.’ Let us banish the word from the dictionary of laughter….

MY MANIPUR AND YOUR MANIPUR

The two National highways (lifelines of Manipur) are blocked in the hope that the Government of Manipur might at least reconsider the voice of the hill people: the SPF Government has chosen to go on playing the role of being blind and deaf. The present turmoil in Manipur is symbolic of powerplay between the majority Meitei and the minority tribals which has plagued Manipur for too long. Tribal MLAs practically has no voice in a house of sixty where two third are Meiteis. What the tribals want, the Meiteis voted to abhore. Whatever the meiteis do in many ways turn out to be hurting for the minority group. There are differences that have not been filled at all. Are we genuinely listening to each other leaving aside our egos and self interest?

You're "hao" that was what meiteis called me and my friends. Yes, I dont deny that because I am a Naga and I am from the hills. You are a "hao" and so you are "mange" (an untouchable) that's how the yesteryear Nagas were treated. I was kind of thinking we've finally grown out of that stereo typing cocoon where we categorize people. Well, it seems the attitude lives on in some other form. We all have aspirations both as individuals and as a group. Nagas as a race, sure do have this and no doubt Meiteis have their own. It was according to what they think and percieve that they called us "hao." Nagas accepted the name unconsciously. That was in the past. Now, Is it wise to think that the Nagas would accept dictations unconsciously even today like the way they did in the past? This is exactly what the Goverment of Manipur seems to have done to the Nagas and is doing with more intent lately. Meiteis also are ever ready to dictate the fate and distort the aspiration and history of the Nagas. What do the Government of Manipur and Meiteis have against Th Muivah or Naga revolutionary groups? Meiteis have scores of revolutionary groups. Have the Nagas at any point of time spoken against the leaders of Meitei revolutionary groups, their leaders and their ideologies? A big "No" must be the answer. Licking one's own wound might be the better way to heal faster than rubbing salt on others wound and getting the same treatment.

Meiteis have gone a step further this time by calling Th Muivah a "criminal." That was a bold statement as usual because meiteis apparently are good at harping on their views and opinion and consider them next to something devine. Imposing these views and opinion on others is just the subsequent step. To the Nagas, Th Muivah is a fatherly figure because of fearlessly challenging the forces that have oppressed and abused the Nagas for decades. Nagas' support for this exemplary leader have not waned and never would. If what the Nagas consider as a great guide and a leader is being labelled as a criminal by someone who claims to be a neighbor; how possibly can we conclude that the two are good neighbors? Sorry, I don't know how to write in a more diplomatic style. However, everything that have happened in the past and the recent past suggest, the meiteis never listen to the voice of the hill people, whom they ironically call as their brothers. Muivah, to the Nagas is a liberator, which the meiteis consciously choose not to acknowledge. Whatever the Nagas want, think, or desire are/were always ignored taking the advantage of being more populous and for being near to the power hub.

The Government of Manipur, which also is Meitei dominated is showcasing the replicated reality of typical meitei attitude toward the Nagas. The present economic blockade is affecting not only the valley people, but the hills are equally going through the same hardships. However, the Government is concerned only about the possible hunger and starvation in the valley. To avoid this from happening, some ministers are praised for sneaking through the blockade to bring foodstuff and medicines. Has the government of Manipur done something of this sort for the hill people? Forget siphoning off/misappropriating hill developmental fund to make the valley glow while the hills are left in a dark dungeon. Go to the hills and see the pathetic condition of roads, schools and hospitals. Did the government even once care about the well being of the hill people? If "never" is the answer, which I know for sure is; what is there for the Nagas in Manipur to feel the pride of belongingness? Good that the Naga movement was there long before drawing the misnomer boundary of Manipur: atleast the Nagas have hope of deliverance and uniting once again though separated/suppressed by both the British and India.

Coming to something that is reality, go anywhere in India or abroad and ask someone from Manipur; what are you?only the meiteis would say he/she is a Manipuri. Tribals from Manipur prefer saying kuki, naga,etc. That is the emotional attachment (integrity) of Manipur. There is no logic in sloganeering about territorial integrity when people do not have the feeling of belongingness.

There would be many people who would fume on reading this piece of unpolished write up. Why do we need to be diplomatic in expressing what we really feel? If we don't understand each other, it simply means that one of the parties have consciously decided to dictate their thoughts on the other. This is what the government of Manipur has done to the Nagas in barring Th Muivah's entry to Manipur. Ironically, Somdal the birthplace of Muivah where he intends to come back after decades is in the present state of Manipur. It is good Ibobi Singh and his cabinet ministers assumed that Naga struggle is confined to Nagaland and that Th Muivah is fighting for the cause of Nagaland state alone. This assumption now makes Somdal and the whole of Naga inhabited areas part of Nagaland logically. Why else should they deny entry if they are aware that Somdal is in Manipur? The host of ministers headed by Ibobi Singh in appeasing the Meiteis have yet again ignored the Constitution of India and thereby wronged not only Muivah but the whole Nagas.

May 6th Mao carnage also proves that Naga inhabited areas in Manipur do not belong to Manipur. Why else should Manipur arm forces open fire on peaceful protestors whom they should consider as their brethen? Most of the wounded were treated in Kohima and elsewhere in Nagaland, not Manipur. The displaced ran to Nagaland and not to other places in Manipur. Why?? This shows how much the Nagas in Manipur are attached to Manipur in reality.

When innocent Nagas were gunned down, not a single minister budged from their chairs. But when there was the need for food to feed those people on the valley, a cabinet minister personally intervened and escorted back stranded food loaded trucks. Heroic indeed. What would a Naga percieve from this otherwise heroic act being applauded by the Meiteis? You could have done that as well for the innocent Nagas who have suffered for decades.

It is only natural for both Meiteis and Nagas to think that each of them are right. There is no meeting point for the word lashing and mud slinging happening at present. Nagas claim they have a history, and Meiteis have another version of history to keep the Nagas caged forever. The question for now is to either accept the one written by the victorious or the subjugated? History says that the present boundary of Manipur is just a scrap of the glorious empire of past Maharajas. Some part of Naga inhabited areas in Manipur and even some part of Nagaland, Assam and Arunachal may once be under some Maharaja. Does this give the Meiteis the right to claim that all those parts rightfully belongs to Manipur? Greece is not claiming major parts of Asia because of the conquest of Alexander the Great. Nagas may support if Meiteis claim a greater Manipur demanding the inclusion of Kabaw valley and some parts in Assam inhabited by the Meiteis and giving away Naga inhabited areas to the Nagas. That looks like a fair deal and a more politically correct claim than shouting about Manipur Integrity.

It is simply natural for people having the same history to think, act and react in the same way. If the Meiteis and Nagas don't have that commonality, the implication is we were, are and will always be different. It is not only wrong to impose ones thought/history on the other at the cost of the other's, it is unnatural. Meiteis have willlingly ignored the cause of the Nagas for which many lives have been sacrificed. What is suffering for one turns out something of a triumph for the other. What do we have in common that can hold us together?

Manipur indeed look and feel different for those who live in the valley and the hills! I have eyes to see, ears to hear and the right to write what I have seen and what I can feel

Time and my love

Seasons have whizzed past; countless pace

Alma mater is too far away even to be dreamed.

I have grown in time, but my mind is caged

In those days where I was guided and lectured

By pa who had no streak of grey on his head

Palmed with firm muscles of a farm hand.

Mom had not grown too

Out of a cocoon that she knows.

She had an only son who has become a gypsy

Like a picnicker he comes home with the frost

Leaving her thoughts and the land parched

For longer than cactus in the sand can endure. 

Life and time has changed even the gypsy boy.

Supple muscles have sagged in time

The dark forests are now molested

With continuos grazing and lumbering.

Fishes have fled from the rivers to wallets

Education has driven people away from home

The wheel is spinning ever faster; I am on it too

But, I first need to let me know time has changed.

In that confusion I met my lady charm

Who made my dreams even more carefree

A smile on her face brings back past glories.

She makes me live in the milieu I belong

I am growing older to be young again. 

Dedicated to my love and my life